Why Women Fear Power (And How Reclaiming It Transforms Your Business)
Power itself is not the problem
For women reclaiming power in business, this is often the deepest and most necessary reframe: that power itself is not the problem.
As women, we inherit a history, a trauma, in our nervous systems from the women who came before us, one that tells us being powerful is dangerous.
The weight of history we carry
As we all know, women have historically been severely punished for daring to use their power - in challenging the status quo, exerting their influence, or living according to their own desires.
Research is suggesting trauma may be passed down through up to seven generations.
We also see many of our sisters across the world today suffering gross oppression - denied their rights, being treated as property, even their bodies not their own.
How we're taught to be 'good'
In our own lives as we grow up, we experience being punished in small and powerful ways when we break the conventional ideals of femininity. We are taught not to interrupt, or be too bossy. Our boisterousness is calmed. We are praised for being polite, accommodating and placid.
This is how we are 'good'.
So, of course in our minds we conflate power with being bad. It's in our nervous systems.
We see power being used abusively in the world, and decide we want none of it. Power corrupts. And being denied access to our own sources of direct power, it gets pushed into our personal and collective shadow - and projected onto others as negative.
What power actually is
But power is our life force.
It's our capacity to fulfil our potential. It's our ability to act to bring about change in our lives and the world. It's what allows us to act on our values and desires.
The patriarchal view of power is a zero sum game. If I have more, you have less.
The feminine view is that power is a resource inside all of us - one we can cultivate to become agents of change. As I develop my own power, I permission you to develop yours.
Power is no more or less skilful than passivity or niceness. They are both choices in a behavioural range. The challenge is choosing wisely - when to act and when to follow.
"Power without Love = Tyranny,
but Love without Power = Ineffective"
~ Paul Linden.
Reclaiming what was taken
Women have been intentionally disconnected from their embodied connection to their power - no longer able to access how and where it resides in their bodies. Their anger, their desire, their passion all suppressed and pushed into the shadows.
Therefore, in order to have choice, we must find it again through the body.
Simple ways to begin
Simple ways to start to access the felt sense of direct power:
Push on a wall
Lift something heavy
Do a martial art
Walk deliberately and assertively to a clear point in the distance.
What's your response to the word power? What's your experience of it?
I'd love to know what lands for you here.
Want to go deeper?
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Ready to reclaim your power? Come inside The Success Sanctuary, my six-month programme where ambitious, sensitive women find their way back to themselves and build businesses that feel authentic, aligned, and sustainable.
