So, this was another extremely powerful week in the Feminine Fire course.

Not a comfortable week perhaps, but after three weeks of deep resourcing and gradually expanding the amount of aliveness and energy we felt able to experience and allow to move through us - it was time to open up and let some of our more challenging emotions flow.

Especially those emotions we usually label as negative or bad.

I hope what’s becoming clear is that what expands us in business and life, often isn't strategy, but emotional alchemy. When emotions get trapped, we become stuck. And anger is such a great example of this, so many women unlocked clarity, got into momentum and moved through plateaus this week!

"I am feeling so grateful for this programme, the 'anger' week came at the perfect time… I no longer feel stuck… it enabled me to get clarity about what I need to communicate and how I need to show up differently to honour what is true for me."

You can listen to a snippet of my teaching from this module below:

We have every reason to be angry

I don't need to list the reasons. You only need to switch on the news or scroll social media to be reminded that the world is on fire, in so many ways.

I am angry everyday, but for most of my life I didn’t even really know it.

As a coach, healer, or creative, you might also feel particularly conflicted about your anger. Aren’t you supposed to be the one who has it all together, who radiates loving energy, who helps others find peace?

And yet, underneath the calm exterior, there's often frustration, unexpressed annoyances, built up resentments.

And then there's the deeper rage. The anger at systems that perpetuate inequality while you're trying to create change. The exhaustion of trying to build an ethical business in an unethical world, wondering if your small contribution even matters.

Why we're afraid of our fire

We have every reason to be angry. Yet most of us were taught to be good girls - to be nice, kind, don't make a fuss, don't be difficult. We learnt that when we feel anger rising, the best thing to do is immediately clamp it down, resist it, deny it.

Good girls don't get angry. Good girls are understanding, patient, endlessly forgiving. Good girls smooth things over, keep the peace, absorb the discomfort so others don't have to feel it.

Especially if she is also a spiritual woman too.

If you’re anything like me though, it builds up inside until you either explode in ways that scare you and/or hurts others (which adds to your fear and shame around anger), or you collapse inward, turn it against yourself as a harsh inner critic and become convinced that nothing we do will make a difference.

Most of us have only ever witnessed anger that's been distorted by emotional repression.

We've seen or been on the receiving end of anger that’s been turned into violence, manipulation, passive-aggression, or explosive rage. We've only known anger that’s corrupted into a weapon, used as control, or as punishment.

No wonder we want nothing to do with it.

Few of us have ever seen or experienced healthy anger. Anger that moves cleanly through the body, anger that clarifies rather than destroys, anger that mobilises rather than controls.

We've never been taught that anger can be medicine. That our anger can be trusted.

The trouble with suppressed anger

When we don't allow our anger to be felt and moved through us in healthy ways, it gets distorted into:

Passive-aggression: anger that comes out sideways because good girls can't be direct
Explosive outbursts: years of being 'nice' until we suddenly can't anymore
Collapse and helplessness: anger turned inward becomes depression and self-doubt
Chronic exhaustion: from constantly suppressing our natural life force energy to stay likeable

Through my own healing journey and working with thousands of women, I've come to understand that our anger, when felt, allowed to flow and well channelled, isn’t harmful or dangerous, but actually a deep source of our healing powers.

Anger is Love

Anger, in its purest form, is love.

It only arises when something we care deeply about has been crossed, ignored, or violated. When you feel angry that your ideas are dismissed, that's love for your inner wisdom. When you feel rage at unethical practices in your industry, that’s your love of integrity and collective care. When you're incandescent about the state of the world, that's love for humanity and future generations.

Your rage at exploitative business practices reveals your love for ethical exchange. Your fury at marginalised voices being silenced reveals your commitment to justice. Your anger at 'manifestation' teachings that ignore systemic oppression reveals your dedication to truth.

Anger shows us what our next move is:

Pure anger is incredibly energising. It's mobilising. It gets us unstuck. When we can feel it fully without shutting down or projecting it onto others, it gives us great clarity about what we need to do next, and the power to take the needed action.

From what you're against to what you're for

The best advice I ever received when I was a young, angry activist was: “don’t build your life in opposition to anything, build it on your vision for a more beautiful world”. I’m so grateful for this advice, it’s subtle really but changes everything. Opposition requires resistance, which constricts and limits, whereas a vision unblocks energy and allows passion to flow.

Every "no" contains within it a fierce "yes" that liberates energy, power and agency.

This is so often a missing piece for women in business. Not another marketing formula or strategy, but reconnecting with the clean, clear energy of your anger, that tells you exactly what needs to change, what you stand for, what you love.

Reclaiming Anger as Feminine Fire

So how do we reclaim anger as a source of wise power when good girl conditioning runs so deep?

Welcome the energy. Feel it in your body. Notice where it lives - the heat in your chest, the tension in your jaw, the energy in your hands. Say yes to the sensations of aliveness.
Listen for the love. Ask yourself: "What am I angry about?" Then go deeper: "What do I care about that's being threatened?"
Channel the energy consciously:

Move your body: dance, stomp, push against walls. Express it first in a safe, private way that won’t impact anyone else or risk adding shame to your experience. I like to dance to Beyoncé personally.
Create: write, paint, build something.
Practice saying “I feel angry” out loud.

Transform resistance into vision. Instead of getting stuck in what you're fighting against or what’s not working, let your anger fuel what you're creating instead. Take what you don’t want and flip it… what does that tell you you do want? What’s one action you can take now to move towards that?

This anger is love. It's the same fire that fuelled every social movement, every paradigm shift, every revolution that's ever mattered.

Your business isn't separate from this larger transformation - it's a key part of it.

With love and power,

Erika x

An invitation...

If the themes of this blog resonate with you, I’d love to invite you to join my next Community Conversations on 26th August where we’ll be taking a deeper dive into the transformational nature of power, community and presence. Sign up here.

If you’re enjoying this series, and would like to go deeper, my six-month mentoring programme opens again in September - join the waitlist here for early bird pricing and exclusive bonuses.