Good Girl or Badass B*~ch is a trap, not a choice

Written By Erika Chalkley

Here’s another reframe.

In my work I often get asked “oh do you help women become bad ass b*~ches?’

I do not.

Instead, I help them move beyond that false choice and into freedom.

The assumption that underlies the question is that if a woman is not being accommodating, agreeable, or pleasing ... she must be being a b*~ch.

And that’s simply not true or helpful.

This thinking is exactly what keeps women stuck.

Forced to choose between ‘nice’ and ‘b*~ch’ - of course we choose nice.

For eons women have been forced into these dichotomies.

It’s another way women are taught to shrink to fit.

Frigid or s*~t?

Selfless or selfish?

Peacekeeper or difficult woman?

These are not our only choices.

It’s not an either/or situation.

You can be:

Big hearted AND strong boundaried

Loving AND fierce

Powerful AND kind

Direct AND open

They aren’t mutually exclusive.

The choice between them is a trap.

And you don’t have to choose.

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Erika Chalkley
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