Helping women break free from ‘being nice’
and expand into their courage-led life.
Welcome, I’m Erika. And I help women be less nice.
Yes, you read that right.
Somatic coach, embodiment teacher and freedom seeker: my life’s work is to help women break free from the embodied social conditioning that keeps us caged in feelings of unworthiness, never-enoughness, self-doubt and fear.
Because most of us grew up still being trained to be good girls, as women we find ourselves instinctively being nice by default.
Being nice can look like:
People-pleasing, unhealthy levels of self-sacrifice, always prioritising other people’s needs over your own.
Holding yourself back, waiting for permission, doubting your instincts.
Keeping quiet, fearing visibility, hiding your brilliance.
Over-efforting, feeling like you need to work hard to prove your worth, never able to truly relax, rest and receive.
The kind of nice I’m talking about is actually deeply unkind.
Let’s change that!
Nice women are everywhere.
Deeply loving and empathic. They are sensitive and smart and fiercely loyal.
Their worst fear is not being liked, so they have a hard time saying no or setting boundaries (No = selfish!)
So they try to please everyone but end up exhausting themselves in the process and feeling resentful. Deep down they are tired of always being in service.
But they learnt early on that it was safer to please, and to appease than to challenge - and now it’s just so deeply ingrained its become automatic.
As a result they find it hard to know what THEY truly want, there have been so many 'shoulds' pressing down on them.
They’ve lost themselves in romantic partners, or among friendship groups that never felt ‘quite right’, they’ve worked hard in careers and to the outside world life looks great.
But by trying to be everything they think they 'should' be they’ve lost touch with who they REALLY are, and what makes them really come ALIVE.
Their confidence is shaky, they’re quietly sinking and they can’t escape the nagging feeling that life could be so much more than this.
They are sick of staying small, of settling for safe. There’s the glimpse of a bolder, more authentic life… and they are wavering on the threshold it.
If this is you, know that you are not alone.
Nor are you to blame, even after decades of feminism our culture still raises ‘good girls’ - to behave, conform, oblige.
You are however, responsible for taking hold of this inheritance, saying ‘f*%k that’ and creating a new way of being, for yourself and for us all.
The system stinks, and personal healing isn’t the whole solution - but it is a place to begin. Women coming into their full potency and power will change the world. This I know.
Embodied education.
If you’re anything like me, at this point you’re asking ‘but how?!’ … you’ve read the self-help books, said the affirmations, tried alternative therapies, mindfulness, counselling … but the patterns of behaviour just don’t seem to shift.
And that’s because these patterns are deeply held in our bodies.
Everything that has ever happened to you has happened through your body, she is the sole witness to your entire life, and has been shaped by every. single. experience.
Your body is your biography.
The way you hold your body, the way you move, how it feels to be you in your body, has been formed by your history. It’s the culture moving through you without your permission.
That’s why you can read all the books about confidence and freedom you like, but until your body knows how to change and your nervous system feels safe enough to - there is just no way that you can embody even the very best advice. This isn’t failure, it’s physiology. And it’s the missing piece to real, long-term change.
I don’t believe in just healing, I believe in action and education.
I empower women. I support them to identify for themselves the patterns that are stuck in their bodies and to find and embody their own alternative, new possibilities.
Embodied work can be very subtle. It doesn’t involve anything athletic, there are no pretzel yoga moves or magical thinking, and the process is always led by you.
If this resonates, reach out.
On the other side of ‘nice’ is ‘free’.
Beyond nice
There is the knowing in your bones that you are and always have been whole. And wholly enough.
There is a loyalty to yourself that comes before anyone or anything else.
There is the peace of finding a home within yourself, from which you can never be uprooted.
And from this place … so much more is possible.
A free woman is a queen and she reigns with dignity, courage and delight.
Come take your throne.
“A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and herself only.”
— Maya Angelou.
“Erika really helped me work through some early painful emotions. She has an ability to be ‘right there’ in the moment with no agenda. Erika has the tools to skillfully navigate vulnerable territory and I felt fully seen and met. I came away with confidence to use the new skills she taught me. I am very grateful for the experience.”
“Erika is warm, empathic and deceptively nice – by which I mean she can really kick your ass and hold you to account if necessary! Her approach is rooted in genuine care and she has helped me stay true to what I care about most deeply in life. She helped me come up with practical things I can do to help break one of my most deeply rooted bad habits and the things we worked out in one session are still useful to me now. I recommend her without hesitation.”
“Erika is a deeply skilled and perceptive facilitator. She brings warmth, authenticity, play and groundedness to her work. I have loved attending her workshops, which have supported me to embody a deeper confidence, clarity and inner fire.”
“Erika is a delight to work with. Not only is she hugely knowledgeable and capable in her subject matter, she is warm, friendly and approachable and has an amazing ability to put people at ease almost instantly. Having taken part in one of her embodiment workshops I would definitely recommend working with her.”